Did you know I spent my early teens playing flash games? I’d frequent Newgrounds, spam the forums with worthless opinions (racking up a post count north of 20k), then use the flash films/games as the icing about the teenage-annoyance cake. And once the editor pushed #1 Diep.io – #1 Play Diep.io Game Online in my opinion, I used to be suspicious.
At the beginning, I assumed to question: “How do you realize I accustomed to play flash games on Newgrounds?”, but thought he’d suspect something. Not just, should i was wrong, would he start carefully and systematically comparing Newgrounds general posts with my general awkward demeanor to track down younger me but, basically if i was right, he will know I was on the bastard. Then your editor would foil living plans by occasionally whispering within my ear: “hey, consider this gem of a Newgrounds general post…”, thus bit-by-bit destroying what little self-esteem I have left.
Like other narratives, I used to be asked who’s tale it absolutely was. So, one splash of water in the face later, I realized it wasn’t a philosophical question of free-will but rather just asking me my name. Although, noticing it was an internet based multiplayer title, I thought I’d hide how I’d be examining this game using a critical eye included in my job. So off I went. The tale of “NotAJournalist” had begun.
Naturally, like other free-to-play PvP titles, Diep.io begins with a whisper. You are a runt, the foot of a pile, inside a bad world looking to shoot you in the back of the top. Or perhaps a small, circular tank floating amongst other shapes and also other tanks. Therefore I did the obvious thing: I blew through the squares, triangles and pentagons that hung out passively while dodging all of the circle with names upon them. Yes, the aesthetic may be recreated with MS Paint and the one thing that is certainly missing is Comic Sans.
Each level offered me choosing upgrade: Regen, health, bullet damage, bullet speed, rate of fire, bullet penetration, body damage (collision damage), and movement speed. Something that became immediately obvious was that if I planned to reside more than a youngster within a paddling pool of concentrated hydrochloric acid, i will have to pick regen eventually. Without them, I would be worn over time like said child from before.
Eventually, I leveled beyond the “spitball-n-straw” stage and was asked basically if i wanted a device-gun, a sniper rifle, a dual-barrel assault rifle, or so that you can shoot forwards and backwards while spinning madly similar to a ballistic hedgehog. Since I’m the particular simpleton to try out as Soldier 57 on Overwatch, from fear of confusion otherwise, I went with all the assault rifle option on my small tank.
Ultimately, like other things, my time with Diep.io came to a conclusion once i began picking fights with some other players. Despite the greatest damage output I was able to muster, probably the most speed, a huge regen pool, and more health than I knew how to deal with, other players were quickly capable of put me during my place. I’d be chipping away at their cathedral of health with my toothbrush shiv and they’d just sweep me aside with an almighty paw without noticing I ever existed.